The Agbero Blog

Monday, March 9, 2009

Letter to Orunmila for Blogville (Urgent)

Dear Orunmila Baba Ifa,

I comot for Blogville for a short time, go attend to pressing matters for our village in Ijemo. During the same period, I offered the ebo to you as you requested. While the Christians observed Lent, I took wisdom at the feet of Obatala. Orunmila, I paid my dues. I did! But what did I see when I returned?

They had nominated me in only two categories in the Naija Bloggers Award. Only two! But, Baba, I no vex. I take am like that. The thing wey pain me pass be say they nominate me alongside some “prominent” people. But, Baba Orisha, na who prominent pass you? Na who dem be wey dem wan big pass you wey dey my back?

Hence, I am bringing forward their names to you.

Bloggers Choice award

* Solomonsydelle
* Vera
* Afrobabe
* Fineboy Agbero
* Jaycee
* Exschoolnerd
* Ladyguide

Most creative Blogger
* Fineboy Agbero
* Exschoolnerd
* Vera
* Catwalq
* Doug

Orisha Agba, may their eyes see double. May they click my name even when they want to vote for themselves. May they campaign for me even when they want to further their causes. May their heads be filled with thoughts of how to make my own beta. Here is what I want you to do with each of them:

Solomonsydelle: Dis one get pikin, so treat am jejely. But her next pikin should resemble me. If she wan name the child, na Agberotunde she go call am. May she threaten her husband with divorce and promise to marry me. That is if she refuses to step down or vote for me…

Vera: Dis one get Russian blood for body, but Baba, since when were you afraid of the Red Army or the fire of communism? Lailai! Baba, she get mouth for blogville o. May you turn dat mouth into a tool for me. May she begin to sing my praises. May she have sleepless nights and dream of marrying me. May she see Alaska from Nigeria and see Ajegunle from New York. That is if she refuses to step down or vote for me…

Afrobabe: Ah, Baba, na Benue gal o, so make u dey kiaful with am. She fit seduce you, Baba Orisha. Turn her sexiness to my advantage. Let her convert her numerous followers to my side. Let all the sexual images in her head be filled with me. Let her take the next flight to Lagos to find me and make sweet raunchy obscene love to me. That is if she refuses to step down or vote for me…

JayCee: Orunmila, dis one dey obodo oyinbo. No make the plenty scriptures wey she dey quote disturb you o. Just use dat odeechi charm; e go work. Enter her prayers, Baba. Let her start praying for me to win. Let her light my lamp! That is if she refuses to step down or vote for me…

Exschoolnerd: hahahaha! Dis one dey write exams, Baba. Shey make we scatter her head? Or should we scatter the whole school sef? Baba, when she wan answer 1+1, make she write FBA! When she dey read, turn all the words to Fine + Boy + Agbero. Let her grin indefinitely in the exam hall. When invigilator come, let her slap him and keep grinning. That is if she refuses to step down or vote for me…

Ladyguide: Baba dis one na d real Judas! She call herself my wife, yet she no fit step down for me. Orisha nla, turn her yansh into her face and her face into her yansh. Send Sango to chase her in her dreams. In fact, Baba, leave dis one alone, I go deal with am myself.

Catwalq: Dis one wants a million for her thoughts. Baba, no problem. Let Esu give her a million wahala to think about bcos of me. Let Obatala baffle her brain with a million puzzles bcos of me. Let Yemoja chase her a million miles from every source of water. That is if she refuses to step down or vote for me…

Doug: Baba, na bark dog dey bark na. If dis one wan say good morning, make d language be dog language. Make d only words wey im mouth fit utter be “Vote for FBA.” All the money wey dey im account, make im pack am give me. Sleepless nights, sleepy days, dash am until dem sack am for work! Until im step down or vote for me!

Baba, dat’s the message I want to send you. And to the remaining people of blogger, you better vote for me or else… This is where to vote, in case you don’t know, and so dat you wouldn’t say you weren’t given a chance. >>NAIJA BLOGGERS AWARDS<<.

Those who do NOT vote for me will:
1. Suffer epilepsy of the tongue for 7 days
2. See only in black and white for 7 days
3. Shit water and piss shit for 7days
4. Frog jump instead of walking for 7days
5. Crave ata rodo as their only meal for 7days
6. Crave sex with Michael Jackson, the current one, for 7days
7. Turn into a big white cock to be sacrificed to Orunmila on the 7th day.

Baba, this last prayer na for my sweet wife, Temite. Baba, as dem do me bad, na so dem do am bad too. Dem no even gree nominate am. Even as she love dem all so tay she dey make sure say na she be first for all their blogs. Wicked people! May you grant her sweetness of heart jare. May you soothe her bruised soul and fire the yansh of her enemies. May you grant her the strength, power and wisdom to win this campaign for me as my Campaign Manager.

So shall it be. Ase!!! Amen!!! Amin!!! Allahuakbar! Hallelujah!

Yours in orisha,
FineBoy Agbero.


posted by FineBoy Agbero at 2:21 PM



March 9, 2009 at 3:35 PM  


i shall vote for all ur enemies!!!!

FBA as u do me strong thing, i go do u strong thing too

March 9, 2009 at 3:37 PM  

ha! third again?

the baba said if i could call it three times, it'll work

whatever we tell ogbo, ogbo must to gbo, whatever we tell ogba, ogba must to gba...

March 9, 2009 at 3:38 PM  

ha! the baba said it'll be freeway from here on!...its not too late to start begging me o!!!

March 9, 2009 at 3:39 PM  

You came back to finish us with laughter...LOL...welcome back... how far with the pressing matters in the village?

March 9, 2009 at 3:52 PM  

Bumight! Bumight! Bumight!
How many times i call u? Be careful o; I'm hot (with enough jazz) right from d villa. Dont let me send a few jinxes ur way o!

@Rita, o se jare!

March 9, 2009 at 4:15 PM  


i cannot stop laughing...if not say i dey office

make u pray for yourself because vera, afrobabe, SSD...things strong...

Na Jaycee u wan come use to light your own lamp...u no serious!!!

LOL @ your prayer for doug - omo na correct yabbing be dat...'Baba, na bark dog dey bark na. If dis one wan say good morning, make d language be dog language.'



@Doug - wetin u do to how FBA finish u for me...LOL

@FBA - for the one u talk for my girls me i for say 'me no fit vote yourside o!' but for the yabbing u give doug... maybe...just maybe i go vote for u!!!

u dey pray for temite...hahahaha...i no go say she be yeye wife sha o but me i go whisper to u say wen dem dey add person name say dem dey live for blogville...her name no dey...your name no dey...she talk her own say she no dey but she no talk your own say her husband no dey list...LMAO...dutiful wife indeed!!!

March 9, 2009 at 4:18 PM  

lmao......... i shall vote for u cuz i dont want to crave sex with M.J.....

March 9, 2009 at 4:21 PM  

LMAO...Fine boy you do mistake oh..

If I no vote for you I go come lag come make sweet love with you if I no step down?? Babe that one mean say I get my cake and chop am on top now...

March 9, 2009 at 4:22 PM  

who ever wants to see me make sweet love to FBA should vote for me.... u see am???

Be like say you sound my drum well oh...

March 9, 2009 at 4:23 PM  

LMBO...This is too funny! I nominated you AND voted for you, but not in all categories. Does that mean I get half the punishment? I don't want to crave sex with the current MJ o....

March 9, 2009 at 4:28 PM  

Shubby mi! i dey ya back jo. Leave Doug alone. I am a true Naija politician. I go play dirty!!! Oya vote for me now! And no worry abt my wife Temite... But wetin Doug do u sef?

AFrobabe! Kai! U sabi find loop hole o! No worry, i go ask Orunmila to change your punishment to somthin u wont know: like growing 5 breasts? ANyway, since u no go know the punishment, u berra be kiaful! Wicked Benue gal!

Funms my padi! thanx jare. I have ur back too.

simply legal: May Orunmila bless u plenty plenty!!!

March 9, 2009 at 4:56 PM  

AGBAYA!!!!!!!!!! u beta not come haus tonite o, shebi na me make sango turn him nyansh to face n face to nyansh *loud hiss* even agbowo no fit save u, i don cook otapiapia, petrol, diesel, crude oit come mix am with iodine an salt

@bloggers, make una vote for me jare, norrin do una
one luv,

March 9, 2009 at 5:06 PM  

My darling Husband. How body na! May Orunmila answer your prayer. Ase o...Ase! All of our enemies, ifa go deal with. You go WIN o love, you go win ni. No mind all this blogville people, dem dey do dis kind shaka shaka.

@Shuby Doo - all your evel whisper will turn into dust. Na sango I go call say make him deal with u. Nonsense. It be like say you want my husband. But your evil works will not come to pass. Go and siddon somewhere far before I do you something o.

@Afrobabe - ashawo babe. get your nauty hands away from my husband. Do who, you dey joke abi. U no wan choke on dat ur cake abi. That sweetness go turn to bitterness by the time I am done with you. Mscheeew.

All you dis small small girls for blogville wey no get sense. Una dey laugh and gigle at my husband. BE WARNED O. He is taken. Before orunmila and sango come togeda and scatter all your yansh. BE WARNED.
Ololufe - dis is on. We go win dis! The gods have said so.

March 9, 2009 at 5:12 PM  


You came to my blog, offering threats.

I came here only to see even more threats! Ti m ba mu eh, ehn? You don't know that I AM A SOMEBODY! lol!!!!

This post was hilarious! Best of luck to you sha, my brother. If this is what it took to get you to update, I am happy!

Vote for the polygamist, Orisha worshipper FINEBOY AGBERO (unless you see my name in the category, yeah, that's right, I said it, I AM A SOMEBODY).


BTW, how many blogville wives do you have now? Bumight, LG...

March 9, 2009 at 5:13 PM  

@ Temite: I forgot that you were one of his betrotheds sef.

Kai, I don't even know why Agbero is halaing, with the amount of women he has, what chance do the rest of us have?

March 9, 2009 at 5:14 PM  

Watch me vote for all your competition! just did yourself in!

March 9, 2009 at 5:26 PM  

@ shubby doo: haba, how you dey cause wahala for temite? What Orisha has put together, let no shubby ....

March 9, 2009 at 5:33 PM  

LG: No worry; na house we go meet! U think say ur yeye threats fit square against the deities of Yorubaland? Lailai! Be careful o!

Temite my baby! Kai! I trust you! Oya, finish all of dem. Awon ke? Won o to be! Dem go know say one couple dey dis blogville.

Solomonsydelle: I know u are SOMEBODY! U are a gentle somebody who will step down for me jeje. Abi? I trust you!

Writefreak: Ahn-ahn? Because I worship the gods of my forefathers? Come on, what happened to One Africa? What happened to not discriminating on bases of gender or religion? Kai, i don catch u! Oya, vote for me!

March 9, 2009 at 6:43 PM  

FBA u no well at all!!! lol!

March 9, 2009 at 11:05 PM  

hahahaha...i can't stop laughing
This is african politics to the core

i will vote for you cause you made me laugh so hard.

March 10, 2009 at 12:48 AM  

Na wa oh! I thank God for awards oh, dat have drawn FBA back to blogsville.

See ya longa throat, utalk say2 nominations na ONLY!
Me i don't envy ur categorys sha, cuz urfellow nominees get serious mouth, but orisha dey.

Me i know i will vote for u, cus i dont think i will like to piss shit, and shit piss.

March 10, 2009 at 1:01 AM  

LMAO!!! I don't even know what to say sef...ROTFL...

ah that category hard o. But seeing as I no wan shit piss or have tongue epilepsy. I will vote FBA o...


March 10, 2009 at 1:08 AM  


Dont worry i voted for u in one of the categories.

March 10, 2009 at 2:52 AM  

heeeeeeeewooooooo! all because of awards see curses! lmaooooooo!

we wey no get ONE nomination nko??? mscheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew!

good luck anywayz!

March 10, 2009 at 3:15 AM  

See this yeye man. Agbaya lasan. No make the fact say i carry Amero stamp confuse you o. Na green pali I carry!
u mess with me, I go show you say Lanko no be malt.

March 10, 2009 at 3:16 AM  

All this bcos of vote...

Obatala has a lot of work to do, bcos the God Jaycee serves bigger pass ur Obatala O!

gosh, u got me laffing!

March 10, 2009 at 3:51 AM  

besides, part two is coming. dem fit nominate u for plenty category!

March 10, 2009 at 3:52 AM  

Ha ha ha ha ha.. (think of this as evil laughter)...


March 10, 2009 at 6:45 AM  

EWOOOOO! This one pass me oh! Strong thing!

March 10, 2009 at 10:18 AM  


March 10, 2009 at 2:19 PM  

XSN: I no well abi? We go soon see who no well! U berra step down kiakia!

wordmerchant: Yes o! Na Naija politics to dah core. Just watch as i go win dis election easy!

mizchif: Ehn, padi mi. Two na "only" o. Upon my popularity, na only 2 i fit enter? Nice of u to pledge ur allegiance. Orunmila bless u plenty plenty!

Nefertiti: You just made the right choice! May the gods of the Pharaohs be with you!

Tigress: One is not enough o! U dey hear me complain of only 2 nominations. No try me o!

Burracup: U dey hiss abi? U wan make i beg Obatala to turn hissing to speech for u? No try me at all o! Just go and vote!

Ms Catwalq: Hahahah hehheee huuhuhhu! I laugh in Ijebu! You even get liver come here dey form Americana. FBI fit catch thief like Ayilala? CIA fit listen to conversation like Esu Odara? Lailai! Juju pass technology o, s'ogbo?

Just..Toluwa: Yes ke? I know say her God pass my own na. Na why I tell Obatala to infiltrate her prayers be dat! See? Obatala na international mole/spy! Instead, she go dey pray for me! I too much jo!

Jaycee! DAt ya yeye laff no scare me at all! E no evil reach! Emi okunrin meta!

maitumbi: Just wait and see!

Omosewa: No just laff o; go and vote with immediate alacrity!

March 10, 2009 at 2:39 PM  

FBA, you have almost killed me with laughter.

I'm glad I'm not one of your enemies.

March 10, 2009 at 3:48 PM  

Dis guy you dey mad o! Na me be dog???!! You dey play with fire o!

And as for Shubby, I say I no do!!! Ah ahn! Na by force???!!! Mscheeeeewww!!! i know where I go catch you! Watch and see!!!! Mscheeeeeeew!!!!

March 10, 2009 at 6:16 PM  

So it took the Bloggers Award to get you to post! FBA, You are complaining, at least they even nominated you! Wetin make me I say?!
You and this your love for Temite- nothing fit seperate you o! But all that one na story- even me sef i go soon join the queue of your wife wanna be- but e be like say I go need to collect sumtin sumtin from baba 1st b4 all these ur numerous wife finish me off! Lol

March 10, 2009 at 9:23 PM  


thank God i read this at home! i laffed to my heart's content...and so did my housemates for that matter! lmao!

by the time Jaycee reads one or two scriptures for u ehn, u and baba will tumble seven times on top of each other.

see black and white for seven days ke? lol

March 10, 2009 at 10:18 PM  

were! using threats to coerce votes. agbaya! me i hv immunity against all of these if u no know. oya, afro, lg, sydelle, who needs a campaign manager?

March 11, 2009 at 11:40 AM  

aaaahhhhh Fineboy Agbero stopped by my post?!!! waow! Are u trying to get me to vote for u 2ce? It's too late. My love goes to those who have constantly shown me love in the past. lol!

March 11, 2009 at 2:04 PM  

on the floooooor...LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

March 11, 2009 at 8:49 PM  

So dem call you FBA abi? Obviously you're one of the guys who open the gate in orunmila's shrine if not, you for know we dey siddon for

Im new to your're realy funny sha..but be kiaful o..all this prayers wey you dey comment..lmao

Anyhoo, that category is really hard o..but i go vote for you

i'll catch u later!!

March 11, 2009 at 10:29 PM  

Haba oro yi abi mi? Thank God I no dey ya categories but Orunmila you no these people get skills, that's why FBA is afraid o (lol)

And e com dey tasi im wife!

March 12, 2009 at 8:58 PM  

this guy, your craze get craze! i think i voted for you. you be my boy naa. lol

March 13, 2009 at 12:16 AM  

Sorry jare, e be like say na support u dey give ya wife Temite. Good. Orunmila go like you further for that (lol)

March 13, 2009 at 8:35 AM  

Na wah o! Are you really serious about this your Orunmila thing?

Well, I wish u all the best FBA. Win! Win!! Win!!!

March 13, 2009 at 3:46 PM  

This comment has been removed by the author.

March 13, 2009 at 5:34 PM  

fba hope say u don vote for me or ....... :-)
*how garage?

March 13, 2009 at 5:35 PM  

My honeypie.. Don't worry the crown is yours. You know my legs is sweet.. This my era na sweet one..Not like Sikirat or Temite own. Just wait and see.

March 14, 2009 at 5:16 AM  

my Gawd....see prayers naw!
please wen r these results coming out cuz I just joined so i really dint kno hu i was voting 4 sha...but oh well..hope u win o!


March 14, 2009 at 4:46 PM  

LMAO!!! this is so wrong on so many levels, but man, i think i have had laffter to last me for today. FBA, wow! u are d stuvs man. ever considered goin on stage?

March 14, 2009 at 6:10 PM  

Oga, I bow for you o. What’s all this threats and stuff now? You won’t get my vote with that one o. Blogville, don’t mind the empty threats jare. If FBA wants us to vote for him, he should get on his knees and beg! Do I get a witness? First time here. Man, you’re hilarious. ROTFLMAO!

March 14, 2009 at 8:36 PM  

No. 50 sounds good. I dropped the 50th comment (and %1st counting this one). Does that get me any 'shandi' or 'wazo' from the agbero? lol

March 14, 2009 at 8:39 PM  

LOL!!!!FineBoy I jus rushed to vote for you as u can see all those Judases didn't vote for me in one category in that A - serious everything even where they didn't nominate you am going to vote for you o!!!

March 15, 2009 at 1:27 AM  

When does the award results come out gon sef?

March 16, 2009 at 7:00 PM  

omg you crack me uppp

March 17, 2009 at 2:29 PM  

Senor Agbero, You have our vote. Hope Fashola's task force are not disturbing business.


March 18, 2009 at 11:57 AM  

I just say make i hail o..

March 19, 2009 at 3:29 AM  

if u win any of the category, fashola talk say him go megacity ur garage. but if u no win him go turn ur garage into train station.

March 19, 2009 at 6:28 AM  

knock!!! knock!!!
*comes in with bowl of gbegiri/fufu/assorted meat/shepe*

swerrrriii, dullingggg, the agbero 1 of las gidi, i come in peace o :-)
i just see am 4 AIT now say u win one kind AWARD like dat, naim i say as 1ST wife consign, my horseband deserves a treat, or how u see am???? *bats lashes*
4get temite jare, rememba say her pple reject d 'shepe wey we go carry go knock for their door, dem say no be 'original'
believe me wen i say u r d only 'epa' in my 'guguru', d only 'mosquito' in ma room , d only @$^%#@*(&^%#@%&**%$##$)@ shebi u understand :-)
tank you verrry much
PS: wen we go go see 'orunmila' for thanx giving????? i wan invite my towns pple :-)

BTW rememba to 'dedicate' d award to me o :-)

March 19, 2009 at 8:56 AM  

Oluwa de mi! Padi mi for life! Norrin do u!

Doug, u wan catch me ke? Lailai! Emi omo ekun! I don win sef!

London gal! Norrin do u jo! U wan join my harem? Oya send ya CV!

Smaragd: no worry abt JAycee. She no get we-re.

rayo: u dis small gal! Na me u dey call were? Oya, go do manager na!

Tigress: No be so na! ;-) LOL! (ok, u catch me!)

Culturecynic: oya stand up!

Fashinga: Thanx jare. I sure say u vote for me as i don win na! Well don. see ya, catch ya, larrer.

InCog: U do well!

Standtall: Yes o; i like my wife well well

Yewande! U dey fear Orunmila? Did u vote?

LG: see nerve!

Spicytee: Hmm, ur legs sweet true true.

Gee: Well, i go tell Orunmila to pardon u in case u didnt vote for me. Welcome sha.

Omo Oba: Wrong ke? But u are omo oba na! Dis na our asa ibile o!

Geebee: U get liver o! U dey pull madman for prick? I pity u o! well, see now: i don win. Shame on u!!!

Shona dah Vixen: Well don jare. No mind dem bad bele people.

Tigress: e don comot! I don win!

wordsmith: ehn?

Cerberus: ehn! Waa sere jo! Well done padi mi!

Burra: me too i hail o!

9ja Kuti: Well, i don win o. Go remind Fashola of him promise.

LG: Comot for hia before I open my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everybody: Thank you! Biko! Ese! Dalu! Nagode! Orunmila bless you all!!!!

March 19, 2009 at 1:10 PM  

OMG.......HOW DID I JUST FIND THIS BLOG????.....ROTFLMAO............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

March 19, 2009 at 1:21 PM  

HABA FBA!!!!!! just like datttt??? rememba how we start o :-)


March 19, 2009 at 1:33 PM  

d food nko???? u no go chop again??
or make i lef am 4 door-mouth:-)

March 19, 2009 at 1:33 PM  

Care to check my blog for what Writefreak said about you?

March 19, 2009 at 2:09 PM  


Congrats oh!

March 19, 2009 at 2:28 PM  

THIS IS A GOOD DAY ABI? Thanks to Orunmila and Sango combined!
How are we going to celebrate?
You know say I am a very classy woman so you fit treat me well well o. No chicken republic or any of that kain thing. Me I wan chop italian.
London Gal - wetin is your problem sef. Which kain harem you wan dey crace ehn? I beg take your kangarachi sef comot for hia before I call my papa, Sango, make him fashi your ass. No try me o. Go and confess your sins. nonsense!

LG - the man no wan do. see am catch the scent of award, and she wan do first wife. mscheeeeew. Your place have been taken! So comot for hia o.

March 20, 2009 at 3:41 AM  

Our guy congrats oh, one bottle of mexican shepe dey on hand for you make you take celebrate. which park make we deliver am to?

March 20, 2009 at 4:09 PM  

Dude, update!!! Kilode?

March 20, 2009 at 7:26 PM  

o yeh, congrats on the award. well deserved. :) Just keep the rib cracking blogs rolling.

March 20, 2009 at 7:28 PM  

OMG!!! Lol lmao you are the craziest man in bloggsville how in the world do you come up with these things???
Hmm thank God i votes for you, this shittin and pissing deal de very risky.

March 21, 2009 at 12:39 AM  

you've been "Honesty Scrap Tagged". Get to it!

March 25, 2009 at 11:54 AM  

guy come to our casa, we're having a little fiesta

March 25, 2009 at 4:17 PM  

*Bark* consider yourself harassed with the honest crap award.
Ps. if you no respond na Fashola task force i go use take track you.

March 26, 2009 at 11:24 AM  

I was feeln sleepy in class and decided to read this.
My goodness, this just made my day...FBA, you're crazy.
Really nice blog. Please,don't leave again!

March 26, 2009 at 6:39 PM  

congrats Agbero!

March 27, 2009 at 9:19 AM  

"let her slap him and keep grining"...hilarious!..u dis boy , u wont ill me with lafta.

March 28, 2009 at 4:12 PM  

i go vote for you. you go buy me a few hundred shots of jedi though... or won't ya?

March 31, 2009 at 7:11 PM  

just left u message on my blog u just made a comment on.

April 1, 2009 at 8:01 PM  

First time here and I have to say that you are a DAMN TRIP. Oh my lawd, I fell about laughing with this one.

Abeg I just wan tok say I sure say Afrobabe no go mind some hot and sweaty kpanshing sessions with you so I hope say she no vote for you. :-D

Meanwoos I cracked up at the word 'Invigilator', Hahahahahahah haven't heard that in a hot minute.

April 2, 2009 at 7:53 PM  

Abi Orunmila has to come down to get you to update?

April 17, 2009 at 4:59 PM  

Very nice blog. It's a handsome blog

April 24, 2009 at 9:38 AM  

uncle, so your own juju caught u??
better update ASAP!!

May 5, 2009 at 5:36 AM  

this is the SHIIT u pray 2 orunmila for.This world is full of hunger,and poverty and people dying and this is what you pray for.Dnt play with orisa.Disgraceful.

June 15, 2009 at 5:30 AM  

...finally, your that your Orunmila don solder your nyash you no fit shit don see am...LMFAO

June 23, 2009 at 2:26 PM  

im sorry baroque,was that English?

June 27, 2009 at 10:55 PM  


July 2, 2009 at 3:36 PM  


June 1, 2010 at 4:11 AM  

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